


I Can't Make You Love Me

by Bookgirl318



Category: Hunger Games Series - All Media Types
Genre: F/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2013-12-17
Updated: 2013-12-17
Packaged: 2018-01-04 23:32:54
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings, No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,808
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1086974
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Bookgirl318/pseuds/Bookgirl318
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>A one shot about the last night before the Quarter Quell from Peeta's POV.  Inspired by the song I Can't Make You Love Me.</p>
            </blockquote>





	I Can't Make You Love Me

We have just completed the interviews. If I thought I had shocked them last time with my declaration of love for Katniss, boy did I outdo myself this go around. I have just told the entire country that this beautiful girl beside me and I were secretly married, and now she is pregnant. It had put the entire audience into pandemonium. They are so in love with us that the thought of sending the star-crossed lovers of District 12 back into the arena has caused serious rioting in the streets. All of the victors had taken the energy from this and for once raised hands together in a moment of brotherhood. _Take that President Snow._ If my fiancée can fuel a rebellion with her bow and arrow, I can do it with my words.

 _Katniss, my fiancée._ Using that term to identify her still stings. To get what I wanted my whole life, but with a catch. It's all just a show. Every day that passes I have to remind myself that she doesn't love me. And tomorrow, we are heading back into the arena. There is no way that both of us will be coming home this time. One of us will have to die, and I am going to make sure that it is me. Whether she loves me or not doesn't matter. I love her more than my life, and I am more than ready to give it up if it means that she will live.

I take a look at Katniss standing next to me. She doesn't seem like she is upset by my announcement. In fact, I would have to say that she actually seems pleased. I guess it gives her a kind of satisfaction and freedom, knowing what a stir I've caused.

As we get off the elevator, I have to quickly make sure she is okay before the others arrive. I take her by the shoulders and turn her towards me to make sure she is listening.

"There isn't much time, so tell me. Is there anything I have to apologize for?" I ask seriously.

She pauses for a moment to think, but then those grey eyes sparkle at me as Katniss smiles. "It was risky for you to do that without telling me, but it was good  Really good." I breathe a sigh of relief.

Haymitch comes in then, and tells us what an uproar is going on outside. We go to the windows to see and watch the chaos in the streets, but come to the conclusion that even so, the Games won't be cancelled. I also have a sneaking feeling that the solidarity amongst the victors tonight will be short lived.

We say our goodbyes to our mentor, who continues to advise us to "Stay alive." He knows my plan, and said that he would help me make sure Katniss wins. The old drunk says some private words to Katniss about remembering _who the enemy is_ , but I am not sure what he means by that. Haymitch finally winks at me when he turns to leave, and I take that as a sign he plans to keep his promise.

Once we are alone, the two of us then walk down the hallway towards our rooms. I reach my door and am about to turn and go in, but for some reason Katniss won't let me go.  She hangs on to my arm for dear life.

"If you go in there, they might lock the door and you won't be able to get out," she says with pleading eyes.

"I need to shower," I argue. "I have to get this makeup off." They've put the stuff on me for all of the TV interviews, but I can't stand to leave it on for too long.

"You can clean up in my shower," she offers. "Please, Peeta. Stay with me." Her eyes are staring directly into mine and pleading. This usually fearless girl is truly afraid she could be left alone tonight. I can't deny her.

"Alright," I sigh and begin to follow her.

We walk farther down the hallway to Katniss' room and go in. I let her wash up first, and she only takes a few minutes. I have already gotten my jacket and shoes off when she comes out of the bathroom wearing one of the comfortable night outfits she usually wears to sleep. Her dark hair is down from its braid into soft waves, and I can smell the strawberries that must have been in the shampoo she used.

"Your turn," Katniss states quietly. I nod and head into the bathroom myself. I find the shower and see that it is just like the one in my own quarters. I quickly manage to wash all of the work my prep team had done off my face. The hot water feels good on my muscles and I can at least feel some of the tension go away. Some…but not all.

When I finish, I put my pants and my undershirt back on, as Katniss wouldn't let me get my own sleepwear, and there is nothing she has for me to sleep in. I walk back out to see that the covers have been pulled down on the bed and the lights are dimmed.

 **_Turn down the lights, turn down the bed_ ** **_  
**Turn down these voices inside my head** _ **

My mind is so full tonight, not only with everything that had happened in the past few days, but all that lay ahead in the arena, as well. My thoughts constantly remind me that I have to keep to the plan. My selfish side tries to argue that I should try and save myself. This is pointless, of course. I know what I have to do. I wish I could shut my mind off and sleep, but I know that is probably not going to happen, especially with the girl of my dreams in the same bed.

I walk over to the large comfortable bed and sit on it. Katniss is putting the bedspread over a chair and turns back around to look at me. I pat the empty space beside me and she comes over and gets in under the covers.

 **_Lay down with me, tell me no lies_ ** **_  
**Just hold me close, don't patronize Don't patronize me** _ **

Instinctively, she inches over to my side and comes into my waiting embrace. It doesn't take long before her own arms are around me and our legs are entangled together. Neither of us is attempting to sleep. We just lay there staring into each other’s eyes but not speaking. I could stay like this forever with her just holding onto me. It feels so good, but I also know the truth.

"I just need you to be close tonight," Katniss breaks the silence with her quiet statement. "I don't think I can sleep, and I'm not really sure I want to anyway."

"The nightmares." I reply in understanding. I don't want to face them either.  They are only manageable when we sleep together.

"I know they'll be bad," she continues. "I know I need to sleep to be fresh tomorrow, and I can't do that without you. You're the only one who can keep them away."

That's right. I seem to be the only one who can help soothe her during the night terrors. But that's all she wants from me. Nothing more. No matter how much I have dreamed when it came to Katniss, this is all I will get. And tomorrow, I will begin the plan that will end in my death. I haven't been able to bring my dreams into reality before, and now I am out of time. Who was I to think that she could ever really be mine? That's not what Katniss was ever looking for.

 **_Cause I can't make you love me if you don't_ ** **_  
**You can't make your heart feel something it won't** _ **

I naively once thought long ago that if I actually ever got the courage to talk to Katniss she would finally notice me. Once I got in, then I could finally tell her everything that I felt for her. I knew she would love me if only I had the chance.

Little did I know that the first time I would have a conversation with her would be on the train as tributes in the Hunger Games. Not necessarily the best situation to get to know someone for the first time. I came up with the idea of the staged romance, even though for me everything was true.

I kind of hoped that through us having to pretend, that just maybe it could become real somehow. I was wrong. I tricked myself into believing Katniss in the cave. I thought all of the glances, the loving words and kisses had something behind them. But, on the train home I learned that it was all for the cameras. That lesson still hurt even now. Since then we've managed to put together a kind of basic friendship, but it's so hard when all you want is more.

There have been a few moments where I thought that maybe she could have feelings for me. Yesterday we actually seemed to have a connection when we spent time on the roof.  But reality has always come crashing down. Katniss needs comfort, and I'm the only one here. All I really have are these times in the middle of the night when she has relied on me to sleep. And here we are for what will probably be the last time like this.

 **_Here in the dark, in these final hours_ ** **_  
**I will lay down my heart and I'll feel the power** _ **

Knowing this is more than likely my final night with her alone, I decide to lay it all out there. Say to her the one thing I need to before I begin to let this dark haired beauty go.

Katniss is still staring into my eyes as I kiss her forehead. "I love you," I finally tell her. "I just wanted to say it before…" My sentence trails off. Just saying the words takes a load off of my chest. At least she will know the truth when I am gone.

I think that I might some kind of loving reply from her, but this is Katniss. She has difficulty understanding her emotions, let alone putting them into words. She is also stubborn, and I am sure she has some foolish plan of her own to try and save me in the Games. _Good luck with that._

She sighs heavily and finally says, "Peeta, we'll be okay. We always look out for each other right? We just have to stay together, and I'll get you home."

I let out a huff in frustration at her determination to die out there for me. "Why would you do that?" I ask honestly. "You should be the one to go home to your family."

"You're such a good person. Out of all of us, you are the one who truly deserves to live." Once again, there is no feeling of real love there for me. It's just a belief that I am the better person and that she owes me. That is ridiculous. Katniss has sacrificed so much in her life. Her family needs her. I decide not to reply and let the silence hang on, simply running my fingers through her hair.

 **_But you won't, no you won't_ ** **_  
**'Cause I can't make you love me, if you don't** _ **

Time passes, and after a while, I see Katniss' eyes close as sleep finally overtakes her. The fear is still out there inside of us, but I try to take this peaceful time to try and rest in the hope that maybe for a little while I won't have to think about the situation anymore.

 **_I'll close my eyes, then I won't see_ ** **_  
**The love you don't feel when you're holding me** _ **

In these short moments of troubled sleep, I still dream of her, and of what the future could be. I see her in the woods with Gale, smiling with beautiful dark haired children around her. She looks at them all so lovingly. I know she could be happy if only she would allow it. She would be an amazing mother. This is what my plan is about…her future. I am going to die in the arena so that she can live her life with Hawthorne.

I have seen him around Katniss and know that he loves her. He would make sure to take care of her. I know she has feelings for him too, even if she is confused about them for now. The two of them are so alike and easy together.

Katniss needs to win so that she can go home to the life she could have. I have to convince her of this by using her feelings for the tall hunter, Mrs. Everdeen, and Prim. I have to build that fire within her that wants to survive. Right now her whole agenda is to protect me. I can't let that happen.

I've already got the locket that I am going to give Katniss as a reminder of what she has at home to live for. I gave Portia instructions to put it as my token to wear inside the arena. I retrieved a picture from Mrs. Everdeen of her and Prim, and Mrs. Hawthorne was able to find a photograph of Gale. She was extremely surprised that I would want one at first, but happy to oblige once I told her it would be for Katniss.

The two images are inside the locket, and I will give it to her in the arena when the time is right. Katniss has to realize what she is giving up if she dies. They are depending on her. My situation is different. Nobody would care if I was gone. My family and few friends would be sad but make it through soon enough. No one truly needs me. Katniss has become my whole life, even if only for a short time. Every moment counts. All I have is right now, this night, but only until the morning when I will have to leave her.

 **_Morning will come and I'll do what's right_ **  
_**Just give me till then to give up this fight** _  
_**And I will give up this fight**_

When dawn approaches and I can see the sun trying to break through the windows, the door opens and Cinna and Portia are there. They don't seem shocked to see us together like this, but I notice a look of sadness come across their faces. The stylists care about us, I know, but they have to do their job.

I take a quick glance at Katniss. She is still wrapped around me, but now wide awake. She is looking directly at me. From the sad expression in her eyes I can tell she obviously doesn't want me to go. But I have to. I have no choice. If my plan is going to work, I have to let her go, starting now. I place a soft kiss on her lips.

"See you soon." I tell her. It's the best I can offer.

"See you soon," she replies. With that I get up and out of the bed. I pick up the clothes that have been lying on the chair all night to take them back with me. I then see Cinna walking towards Katniss, and her attention shifts to him and his instructions. She is focused now, which is what she needs to be. All my dreams of her and what could have been flash in my mind. But, this was never a place for romance. Only hunger and death. Who was I to think any different just because I fell in love with this girl at the age of five? The fates obviously had had another plan, and it didn't include love.

 **_Cause I can't make you love me if you don't_ **  
_**You can't make your heart feel something it won't** _  
_**Here in the dark, in these lonely hours**_  
_**I will lay down my heart and I'll feel the power**_  
_**But you won't, no you won't**_  
_**'Cause I can't make you love me, if you don't**_

As I walk out of the room to be prepped for the arena, I decide that at this point, it really doesn't matter if Katniss loves me now. What matters is that I make her want to live. Keeping her safe is the most important thing.

With a clear purpose, I look back one last time at this girl of my dreams, and try to retain her beautiful face in my mind for the battle ahead.


End file.
